J'y suis, j'y reste....PARIS UPDATE!

Ok, so I must have travelled with my climbing gear in my carry on luggage a hundred times before. Never a problem.

Until today.


Couldn't get on my flight back to Toronto because "apparently" my carabiners are "dangerous." Yeah, whatever...

So, $200 later, and a new flight on Tuesday....and I'm back in Paris at Chez Guerineau.

There are worse things, I suppose than being stuck in Paris for a few more days. And to add needed hilarity to situation, Emilien arrived at the airport to re-pick me up with a sign that said "Stupid Man." It was a good laugh.

So, Toronto, take care...I will be home soon. I hope......

A bientôt, j'éspere.

Je dois remercie des gens...

Le plus important blog...

Sans les gens suivant, mon voyage n'serait jamais possible....

D'abord, à ma famille en France. Les Guerineaus.

Michelle, Jean-Pierre, Hugo, et, biensûr, Emilien. Vous m'avez chaleureusement invité à entrer avec l'hospitalité incroyable. Vous m'avez permis à manger toutes votre nourriture, boire votre café, et d'être un empoisonneur générale. Jean-Pierre (Le capitaine), tu es un chef incroyable - j'ai vachement aimé sa nourriture (et ton sens de l'humour)! Michelle, tu as un coeur d'or. Merci de me parler toujours en français, et ta patience. Hugo. Merci pour les "jams" genial! Ca aurait été génial à passer plus temps avec toi. J'éspere dans le futur!

Emilien, mon frère. Que puis-je dire? Je ne peux jamais assez te remercie. D'étant mon guide, mon aile d'homme, mon pôte, et mon prof de français. Quand même tu m'appelle un poule mouillée. Je te dois bein! Ma maison, est ta maison...n'importe quand. Tu va me manques!

Mon pôte hollandais, Jakob Verbeek à Grenoble. Bro, c'était incroyable à passer du temps avec toi encore. Merci de me prends grimper partout le sud de la France! On fait une bonne équipe. J'éspere que tu reveniras au Canada bientôt! Peut-être aprés Minneapolis? Et aussi, merci de me parler en français pour 1hr chaque journée!

Peter Winter (of Squamish, BC). Dude, that was totally awesome that you came and met me in Marseille. What a great week we had! I'm sure we'll have many more adventures together! Sorry, I couldn't fit any more windsheild wipers into my luggage...

Séverine Vendrame de Marseille. C'était génial te voir encore. Merci de on prends autour de Marseille. J'éspere que tu reveniras au Canada bientôt aussi.

Des autres amis en France...merci pour votre amitié. J'ai passé plusieurs de temps avec vous!

Maj, Guillaume, Olivier, Sabrina, Victor, Anne-Peirre (Paris)
André & Ina, Matesse, Yorst (sorry for the misspellings) (Grenoble)

Si vous choisez visiter le Canada dans le futur, dis-moi! vous serez toujours le bienvenu à ma maison à Toronto.

Je vous aime tout! MERCI!

Gros bisous, Dale

Mon dernier jour dans La Belle Pays.

Salut good friends,

Well it's been quite a journey over these last 10 weeks. Thanks for tuning in to the blog, and thanks to those who have sent great comments and emails my way. I look forward to seeing all my old friends and family again in the coming days, weeks and months.

(the following images are just random (au hasard) that I had on my camera...)

I thought I would take this opportunity to make some final observations about my time here in France, for those of you who may be interested in travelling here in the future - which I highly recommend.


1. If you are vegitarian, don't come here. You will die of malnutrition and starvation after your first day. In France, vegitarians are considered prey.

2. To reitterate my first blog, I don't think the french are rude; unless of course you're talking to someone who lives in the 16th Arri. of Paris. But why are you talking to them, anyways? The french are remarkably warm and friendly, and show incredible hospitality.

3. Somethings are so different that they are the same. In North America we are fixated on losing weight because we are overweight. In France they are fixated with losing weight because they are so thin, and God forbid they gain a pound.

4. If you are going to shop in France, do it in January. Two words: Les Soldes.


5. Travelling by TGV train is wicked, and wicked fast. Are you listening VIA rail??? Yeah, that's right, I CHALLENGE you to step up to the plate. Imagine getting from Toronto to Montreal in 1.5 hours, and 40 dollars. With a bar car... (maybe we should charge 1.30€ per litre of gas...then people might take the train.)

6. France is mini-USA, without all the war-mongering. Geographically, it has lush prairie, two different coastal areas, 3 major mountain ranges, desert, and tropics. But unlike the US, you can reach all within a half days drive of each other. Why am I not living in the south of France???

7. If you come to Paris in the winter, I have one word for you: WOOL (thanks for the tip, Mona). The average INDOOR temp in Paris in most buildings is 18-19°. A bit cooler than the balmy 21° that I'm used to.


8. Imagine a place where the food is the most expensive part of eating out, and the wine is the cheapest.


9. Speaking of money. The Euro is mega strong right now, and makes Canadian money slightly more valuable than the Ruble. Prices in Paris are equivelent, or slightly cheaper than Canada...before the conversion. Eg: Pint of beer in Paris = 6€, so...$30,000 (actually about $9).

10. Parisiennes do not walk enough (how do they stay so thin?). With probably one of the most comprhensive subway systems in the world, one doesn't need to walk more than 5 minutes to go anywhere in Paris. They couldn't even imagine having to walk more than 10 minutes. 2 in heels.


That being said, some of my best moments in Paris where days where I nearly walked from one end of the city to the other. Getting lost, getting found, and seeing all the great streets, squares, and people along the way. Bring good shoes, or buy some here. I recommend it.

11. Having an espresso (decaf) after every dinner is a great idea. Why didn't I think of this before?

12. Eating french baguette and camembert for lunch while climbing is an awesome idea. Why didn't I think of this before?

13. Beware of gypsies!!!! Seriously. They're tricky....

14. Here is how the french language is broken up:

1. Literary french. Only in old or fancy poetic books
2. Book french. As the name implies, only in books; what they teach you.
3. Spoken french. Found in neither of the above.

15. Regarding #14. If you are going to learn french, it's important to find a francaphone, present them with a french basics book and a sharpie marker. Get them to scratch out everything. Then ask them to tell you how the french really talk.

Here's my formula for success (sample sentance):

"Ben.....On va sortir avec Guillaume, en fait. Ca marche, ou quoi?"

1. 'ben' sounds more like baaaaaaaaaan. And is used to stall for time while you attempt to locate the correct conjugation of the verbs you are about to use.

2. 'On' = nous (we). Never use 'nous.' Nous just means you'll have to use another set of conjugations for your verbs. Thus making your 'ben' much longer. On is conjugated the same as Il/Elle/Ca.

3. Futur tense does not exist. I mean, it exists, but no one uses it (many exceptions apply here). It's easier to show intent by the verb ALLER (going) + Infinative of verb. So, "va sortir...going to go out." Much easier to say and remember than "sortira."

4. 'en fait' means, 'in fact' or 'actually'. Use it like 'ben.' Throw it in anytime you like. At the start or end of the phrase. It's fun, try it!

5. Ca (ça). Short for 'cela,' which means 'that.' Then metemorphs into 'it.' The french don't use Il/Elle. It's 'ça' for anything when you would normally say 'it.'

6. Ca marche? = it works?
7. Ou quoi? = or what?

As you can see the only REAL part of this sentance that resembles anything you will learn in a book is "sortir avec Guillaume."

And I still can't speak french...

La Norma, Savoie ski dans Les Alps

Think about this for a second:

Imagine, if you will, that you own a Mercedes automobile. For some reason, you are asked to temporarily drive an Acura. On its own an Acura is a nice, quasi posh, reliable ride. But after the Mercedes, it would likely seem a little underwhelming.

Welcome to La Norma.


Set deep in the savoie region of the French Alps (not the Haute Savoie of Tignes/Val D'Isere). On it's own, it's not a bad ski area, roughly similiar to Jasper, Alberta. Nice tree sking and moderate alpine freeskiing.


However, compared to every other resort in the Alps, it kinda blows. But, we got a really good deal, so hey...there's a saying somewhere that even bad "skiing" is still good, cause it's "skiing." Right?

Quand même, we still had a great time. My skiing is the best it's ever been, and I'm content with the amount of slope time I got this year. However, my knees are telling me a different story.

Skiing for dummies: The "Coles Notes" ski instructor.
Only Italians dress like this...

So, after 3 months of 7 flights, 4 trains, 2 bus rides, and uncountable kms in automobiles, I think I just want to sit at home for a while. I have become such an expert in sleeping in a seat, that I find sleeping in a bed an unimaginable luxury.

Donc, je passerai cette semaine dernière tranquille à Paris. No cars, no trains, no busses. Sun is called for most of the week, so I will empty myself and the remains of my wallet in the streets of Paris. For in less than a weeks time, Toronto's prodigal son will return.....

La Force Verte: Le debùt, 3 Avril.

Not related to France, but worth a quick mention...my show Green Force, debuts on HGTV Canada on April 3rd, 8pm EST. If you like that sort of thing...

Info on the show and more can be found here:

http://www.hgtv.ca/ontv/titledetails.aspx?titleid=105404

"Je voudrais remercier l'acadamie..."

Ok, time to pack (again) for my ski weekend... Have a great weekend y'all.

Je dois faire demi-tour?

Look at the two maps below. They look strikingly similiar, don't they?

Je ne vois pas une différence, pouvez-vous voir une différence?

There is one slight variant. One goes Grenoble to Paris. The other goes Paris - La Norma. And, so do I. In about a 24 period, no less.

So here I am back in Paris, only to stay until tomorrow, when I board a bus back to pretty much where I came from. Why, you ask? Good question. It has to do with skiing and "apparently" coming back to Paris would be "simpler." Go figure.

So, one last weekend of skiing in the Alps, then one last week in Paris. And then Canada will once again welcome its prodigal son.

à bientôt (I really mean it this time)...

Grimper dans la terre Sainte.

A typical village in Provence (south of France)

While the south of France can certainly be considered by most to be the holy land (or Mecca if will), of climbing, it was also the centre of Roman Catholocism for a brief period in the 1300's (to the dismay of Italians). I'll save you the history lesson, as you can google "Avignon pope" on your own time.

The "other" Vatican; Palais du Pape, Avignon, France

The south of France (Provence, Cote d'Azur) suits every stereotype and legend that you've heard. It's picturesque in its age. Filled with vinyards, castles, and cliffs it is a land in which caused one of Jakob's friend's to comment, "France has an over production of wine." Perhaps it is just the rest of the world who has an under consumption. I'm doing my best to remedy this.

More south of France scenery

So, I digress - this past weekend 5 of us headed 2.5hr south of Grenoble to Seynes, France. About 45 minutes n/w of Avignon. The climbing here, like the rest of France is incredible (save for the crappy slabby/thin technical climbing which I suck at) In Seynes, the rock is much more tropical with tufas and stalactites. Technical, and athletic. Super fun, and aethstetic.

Falaise de Seynes (mur nouveau monde) (au-dessus et au-dessous)

Une voie s'appelle "the dinosaur." 5.12d. Click to enlarge photo, check out the top part. Wild.

We stayed in a beauitful gite (b&b) in a town with about 20 residents, and "celebrated" St.Patty's day with a delicious french meal and wine at the local restaurant.

The mgmt of our gite.

Now my body is sore, and I need some rest. It's cooling down here in Grenoble, which is good, seeing as I am going skiing this weekend, and it would be great if there was some snow. So far the weather gods have been with me. God, don't fail me now...

A bientot...

D

VIAAAA FERRATA! (sung to the tune of Viva Las Vegas)

No trip is complete in the Alps until one does a "via ferrata." The classic alps experience. For those unfamiliar with the activity, it's basically rebar ladders and cables affixed to a cliff, creating a route top to bottom. One can complete the route solo, or as a group. All you need is a climbing harness, shock-absorbing lanyard, and bucket for your head (lots of chossy rock...). For a better explination visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Via_ferrata


Any how, it was a beautiful sunny day again here in the Alps and it was suggested to me that if there was any one VF route to do in the area, it was "La cascade de l'Oule: grand dièdre," touted as one of the most difficult in the Alps.

Click on the image above and see if you can spot the person on the Grand Diedre. (centre of photo)

I took the red route to the left.

The sign says, "extremely difficult, very athletic, very vertiginous, no way out."
Sounds good for my first time...

The route is situated 20 kms north of Grenoble over the town of Crolles (site of Petzl headquarters, famous climbing gear manufacturer). I simply took a bus from Grenoble to get there.

After a heart racing uphill approach (which I think was the most exhausting part), I arrived at the base and began the ascent. While via ferrata poses little challenge to an experienced climber, it does give you some great views and a mildly athletic experience. You're basically climbing a ladder the whole way up. The Grand Diedre was unique in that there are sections that overhang, and there is pleanty of exposure (parts where there is a lot of cliff and air below you).

Looking up the Grand Diedre

Looking down the G.D. "doucement...ne pas tomber l'appareil photo!"

One of the great parts of the day is watching all the paragliders in the area swoop around me, and then to get to the top and watch them launch. Looks like a tonne of fun. Some photos...

After enjoying the paragliding show, the quaint town of St.Hilaire above the vf route, I raced back down, hopped on the bus back, caught a quick nap, and when I got back to Grenoble, I ran to the Bastille and did the VF route on the Bastille. Being considerably easier (and now that I am a seasoned vet.), I raced up it, even soloing some sections. The 45 minute route took me under 20. All in all a great day in the mountains.

This weekend we're heading out of town to do some climbing near Avignon. Should be fun!

Cheers!

Grenoble: Savoy Faire

NOTE: Because I have been busy climbing and not updating my blog, I'm a little behind - so the following is broken up into two entries. Scroll down to read about Les Calanques and Marseille; and this one is the most recent, Grenoble. Merci pour votre patience.

Grenoble

So, on Friday, Peter headed back to Canada, and I enjoying a rest day from climbing, headed to Grenoble to meet an old friend, Jakob Verbeek - who moved to Grenoble one year ago from Amsterdam. Grenoble is a beautiful alpine city, with a great history (like 4th century old).

Jakob is a great host, and I was thrilled to see him again. On Saturday we got in the car and headed to Orpierre, about an hour and a half from Grenoble. France has too much amazing rock. They need to sell us some. The rock is just like Les Calanques, but transplanted in an alpine setting over the quaint village of Orpierre.

Orpierre

Jakob roping up in Orpierre

The following day I got to experience one of the great reasons to live and work in Grenoble, and why so many Europeans flock to live here. Grenoble is like a smaller, prettier, more historic version of Vancouver, but without the bad weather. What do you like? Hiking, skiing, climbing, mountain biking? What ever you like, you can do in Grenoble just by stepping out your front door. It's mildly surreal to walk through the city with all your climbing gear. But it's normal around here in a town surrounded by climbing routes, via ferrata lines, and bus/train accessible ski areas.

Walking through the streets, coming back from climbing

So under more sunny skies and the warm sun, we hiked up the Bastille (the 16th century fortress high overtop of Grenoble) to take in some more climbing. This country is incredible.

Climbing above Grenoble

Lots planned for the next two weeks. Quite a few museums, maybe some via ferrata action, some hiking, etc. Then next weekend we head back south for some of the last french climbing action I'll get.

Some interesting sights...

Particle accellerator in Grenoble. If you look hard you can see Dan Brown poking around...

France is scooter crazy. I don't know who bought this one, but I have to wonder how much english they know... or maybe he's just really confident.

Gotta go and enjoy the sun and mountains now...

Ps. incase your wondering my french still sucks.

Cote d'Azur / Marseille (2 Mars à 9 Mars)

What can I say about Les Calanques and Marseille? How about overwhelming.

Les Calanques: our campsite was off to the right.

We (Emilien, Victor, and myself) arrived Friday night via the TGV. Vic got the rental car, and off we went to find a camping spot. Vic parked us at one of the access points to Les Calanques and under a full moon we grabbed our stuff and hiked down to the sea. 45 minutes or so later we were sea side and setting up to sleep next to the rushing waters of the Med. Probably the best campsite I've ever had (albiet a little hard to sleep with the noisy water).


The next two days Victor led us around to some incredible climbing. As usual the first two days were a bit of a gong show as I tried to get used to climbing on real rock again.

Emilien and Victor

Gros bizous et merci to our friend Séverine who toured us around Marseille on Saturday evening for some traditional Provençal cuisine. It's pronounced "bouillabaisse," not "bouilla-bayz" - which apparently is something dirty...

Fortunately, just as Vic and Em were heading back to Paris, my good friend Peter from Squamish, BC arrived to join me for a week of climbing (thanks for coming Peter!). After about day 4 I was back to climbing strong again. Peter and I had a great week, which also included getting lost on the way back from Aix-En-Provence, and discovering that windsheild wiper blades only cost 1€ in France. Pas trop cher!

Peter sussing out a better view

Let me tell you how incredible this place is. The warmth (15-21°); the sea; the palmtrees; and miles upon miles of endless rock. Even knowing how great Grenoble was going to be, it was still very hard to leave this place.

The beautiful town of Cassis

Marseille from above

Off to the Alps again...

Dans un instant...

Sorry for no blog update from Les Calanques...too busy climbing. Will update in a few days. C'est incroyable ici!

D

Paris m'attend, svp.

Alright, in two hours "je monte le TGV" for Marseille and a week of climbing in Les Calanques, then two weeks in Grenoble. Totally freakin stoked. It's been a while since I've touched rock (sauf Font). Can't wait to be physically and emotionally destroyed on limestone again. At least the sea will be pretty...

I hope all of you Torontonians are enjoying digging out of your massive snow storm. ça pue.

D'accord, les palmiers m'attendent...

Je voudrais me faire couper les cheveux. SVP

Just got my hair cut. I'm not sure what amazes me more, the amount of french words I do know, or the amount of french words I don't know.

I think the hairdresser would agree that it's far more incredible the amount of french I don't know. Thank god for pictures and my ability to point and say "comme ça." If I have such a nice new hair cut, then why do I feel like such a failure? (don't worry Yuval, it was out of necessity - you're still the best)

Faire sauter la radio!

One peice of advice one often gives when learning a new language is to listen to music or the radio in that language.

That is not an easy feat in France. As I sit here and study my french everyday, I turn on the radio. What I hear is very little french. En fait, ce que j'ecoute est les même quatre chansons d'Americain....

It's worse than Canada pop radio. I think the only thing I've memorised is the lyrics from the latest Justin Timberlake song. Greeaaaat. Listen for yourself here: http://www.nrj.fr.

There is one benifit though. They don't sensor American hip hop. Does anyone realize how dirty that music is? My virgin ears...

F* THAT!

J'ai quatre jours, et comptant...

Not too much happening here in Paris. Juste une semaine tranquille.

Maybe I'll take in Musée D'Orsay or something.

The big focus for this week is to get strong and get ready to climb. In four days, I head here:
I know what you're thinking. It's really gonna suck being around all that warmth, palm trees, water, and sun.

I think my calves are ready for me to go running again (I've been hobbling for a couple of days). For now, I'll hobble down stairs and warm up my quiche that I bought at the boulangerie this morning.

J'ai faim!

PS. J'ai decouvert un groupe incroyable de Cuba/Paris. Ils s'appelle "Orishas." Check them out at www.orishasthebest.com. The El Kilo album is amazing. Listen to it online.

C'est tout.

Santa's little helper & one month report.

If you are a Simpson's fan, then you will certainly know Santa's Little Helper. The Simpson Family dog. You see, there is an often replayed episode where they are attempting to train SLH because he seems to be getting into everything.

The problem stems from the fact that SLH simply doesn't understand what the Simpsons are saying. To him it sounds like "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah..."

I feel like Santa's Little Helper.

With everybody.

Mildly frustrating and exhausting, largely because when we converse in our mother tongue, we don't listen. We hear. Ever try listening to an entire conversation? I mean, disect every single word someone is saying. Now, try it over dinner, for like an hour. You'll need a nap after - or at least a stiff drink.

Things are improving daily however, with every new colloquilism and new word I learn I get more every day. By the way if you want to know if some one wants you to take out the garbage it's, "Est-ce que tu veux que je descende la poubelle." and NOT "Est-ce que tu me veux descendre la poubelle." Which emplies we'll have a bit of a romp down the stairs with the garbage. Which I asked Jean Pierre, Emilien's dad. Fun perhaps to some, but not grammaticaly correct.

So, anyways, The Simpsons episode ends with SLH finding redemption and finally understanding the commands. (well, more like...blah blah blah sit. blah blah blah stay).

I have a month and a half to find my redemption. God help us all.

D

Un weekend en Normandie, Une coïncidence Canadienne

Here, 'Vache' isn't just a french climbing term.

A typical Norman resident.

So, to my unexpected delight, I got to spend a weekend in Normandy, 2 hours west of Paris - where Emilien's uncle lives, and where his father grew up. Em's uncle Claude runs a small (and organic) farm. But in a strange set of coincidences the farm is also epicentre in an area of signifigant Canadian history. You see it was here:

1. That the first, and most French Canadians came from. There is even a museum dedicated to it. If you know anyone with the last names "Pelletier, Gagnon, Tremblay, Rivard, Fortin, Bouchard and Drouin;" this is where they came from. Including Samuel Champlain, who founded Quebec City and gave us the name "Canada."

I think he also brought small pox, but hey, you can't win'm all.

Where Andrew McBurney's forefather's lived.

2. A few km's down the road is an area called the Falaise Gap. Where the final defeat of the Germans occurred at the end of WWII, just prior to the liberation of Paris.

Falaise Gap. Much more beautiful without all the carnage.

Typical Normandy Road. Great for a jog. If you like that sort of thing...

Other than a history lesson, I also got an opportunity to sample some great regional Normandy cuisine, hospitality, and a great jog through the Normandy countryside. I was told if I just kept going "à droit, à droit, à droit" that I would have jogged 3kms. I'm not in great shape, and with the hills, 3kms is about just enough for me. Turns out, Emilien's dad (Jean-Pierre) MEANT to say 8kms. It was both beautiful and gruelling. But I can proudly say that I did it in 45 minutes. Not bad for a guy who doesn't do cardio.

I can't walk today. My calves are killing me.

Emilien preparing a traditional Normandy dish. Tartlette du Chienne. It was delicious.

à tout à l'heure...