Une leçon en Français

While my french, albiet slowly, seems to be steadily improving - the french's ability to articulate, does not.

I'm considering writing a book on "all you need to know about speaking french." It would go something like this:

To understand french pronounciations, we must first forget everything out teachers told us about articulation. Two rules exist in french:

1. Pronounce as little of the actual word as possible.
2. Patisserie is pronounced "p't-ss-ree," not "patiss-aree." The later will make you sound like a neadrithalic heathen from Marsailles.

So, for example here's a sentance:

"Today, I bought a country ham (prociutto) sandwich in the Latin Quarter."

it is written like this:

Aujourd'hui, j'ai acheté une sandwich au jambon de pays dans le quartier latin.

it is pronounced like this:

1. Oh-shw-di, jay-ash-'tay ewn sandwich oh jaa-boh d'payee da l'kart-chyay la-ta(ng)

2. now say it fast.
3. no, faster.
4. now, slur a little.

There you have it. I suppose if you wanted pronounce it properly as a Quebecois you also need to get drunk first, then return to step one.

This is why I understand no one.

Amuse-toi!

DKS.

Also, discovered a popular french artist by the name of Olivia Ruiz. Google her, she's rad. C'est cool.